My Three Gifts of Christmas

Today, I’m pleased to welcome Sheila Wray Gregoire from To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Apparently I buy really lousy Christmas presents. I had always mildly suspected my shortcomings, but in his book Scroogenomics, economist Joel Waldfogel confirmed them. He showed rather indisputably that if you ask Christmas gift recipients to assign a value to the gifts they receive, they inevitably quote a number less than the actual cost. And the gifts that are valued the least? Those from aunts, uncles, and grandparents, who apparently only get 75 cents of perceived value for every dollar spent.

I do have trouble buying for the nieces and nephews and various other younger people in my life. I don’t always share the same interests, and being the incorrigible aunt that I am, I refuse to pander to hobbies that don’t suit me. Instead, like many millions of aunts and grandparents and in-laws all over this nation, I buy something lousy instead. My preference is always books. Unfortunately, most of my younger relatives don’t share my passion, and thus they consider these types of gifts with about the same amount of affection that I consider most X-box games. And thus we reach the gift-giving impasse.

Nevertheless, Waldfogel’s news isn’t all bad. We actually do quite well on certain gifts. The closer we are to people, the better the gift giving becomes. Siblings value gifts at about 99% of their value, and spouses do even better, at about $1.02. I’m pretty sure my children tend to like their gifts from me, as well.

Yet somehow this whole conversation about whether or not we buy “good” gifts is kind of empty, isn’t it? After all, even if I do succeed at gift giving, is that really the point of the season?

If Christmas is only about gifts, then we are in trouble. It has become a big waste, whether we’re successful gift givers or not, because all we’re doing is breeding greed. I know it’s difficult when children are young and they desperately want the latest toy, but parenting is about identifying teaching opportunities, and I think this is one of them. Life is not about accumulating stuff with as little work as possible; life needs to be about giving, about making a difference, about family, and values, and faith, and love, or life becomes very empty indeed. And isn’t that especially true at Christmas?

I’m not one of those parents who wants to get rid of gifts altogether, because Christmas represents the ultimate gift: when God gave us His Son. And little children understand that.

But that doesn’t mean that we want our kids to be greedy. That’s why we’ve got a Christmas gift-giving tradition that tries to emphasize the spirit of gifts. We call it the “Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh” ritual, where they each get three gifts, and nothing more.

The gold gift is something they want. The frankincense gift is something they need, like socks. And the myrrh gift is something to nurture their souls. It could be a journal, or a book, or a CD, or a movie. It’s something that reminds them of their purpose here on earth, or encourages them to think, to write, and to pray about what’s important. It’s always the biggest challenge to find such a thing, but it’s a challenge I’m up for, since it reminds us of the reason for the season.

I’ve begun doing the same thing for my husband, too: something he wants, something he needs, and something which nourishes his soul. Isn’t that what God gives us? He doesn’t just give us what we want. Yes, He wants to bless us. But He also gives us what we need. And more than anything, He wants to nurture our souls.

So this year, I’ll be rooting around for my own forms of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh. They may not be measurable in Scroogenomics, but they’re measurable to God.

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a mom, a blogger, a speaker, and the author of five books, including the upcoming The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She homeschools her two teenage daughters, usually while balancing a computer on her lap. You can find her daily thoughts at her blog, To Love, Honor and Vacuum.

Now it’s YOUR Turn. On the last day of sharing traditions, you get a voice! Click here: My Christmas Tradition and share one of your traditions.

A GIFT for my readers. One reader of Sharing the Journey will win a prize package valued over $250. Click here: Christmas Giveaway for ALL the details and to enter!

Make sure to visit these wonderful gals in our 25 Days of Christmas Series for the month of December:
25 Days of Christmas: Home for the Holidays @ Graceful Abandon
25 Days of Easy Christmas Crafts for Toddlers & Preschoolers @ Sidetracked Sarah
25 Days of Simple Christmas @ Simply Living for Him

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